There are 2 inner voices who fight for control with most of what I do. The inner perfectionist & the inner rebel. How I use my time, how I spend my money, and how I eat are all areas of my life that these voices struggle to control. When either of these voices have too much influence over my choices, things don’t go well.
The rebel will have me wasting time & money & eating in a way that doesn’t feel great & the perfectionist will never let me take a break or have much fun at all & disregard getting any enjoyment from food!!
There’s a third voice, that is more of an inner nurturer. She’s the part of me that wants to enjoy life, but knows that neither all fun nor all work makes life more enjoyable. The part that knows some foods nourish my body & should be included often, but others nourish my soul & also need a place. She knows that spending too much money & wasting too much time don’t lead to my happiest life, but neither does saving every penny & never having any fun.
I’ve realized lately that since starting to eat more intuitively the inner rebel is the one in control & that it’s not working for me. She’s constantly making me second guess my choices & encourages me to eat in a way that feels good in the moment, but doesn’t feel that good in the long run. She uses diet mentality, unconditional permission to eat, and all foods equal to make me feel that I need to eat whatever I want whenever I want to, in order to be doing Intuitive Eating “right” and I’m tired of the black & white thinking!! It’s really no better than diet mentality, only in reverse where I feel like I’m breaking a rule if I choose to fill my cupboards with more nutrient dense foods or do things like choose dark chocolate as an everyday dessert & save things like cookie dough until I’m actually craving it. Its time to let my inner nurturer start calling the shots & put more emphasis on making choices that feel good later, instead of letting the rebel take control where the emphasis is only on what feels good now.