Old me used to feel like a bottomless pit around carbs. Cookies, cake, brownies, & bread would light up my brain in a way that made me want to EAT ALL THE CARBS. It felt like I had to use incredible amounts of will power to keep myself from going overboard on those things & during weak moments or after a few drinks when my defenses we’re down I would find myself eating way too much of those foods & feeling overly full & bloated and would be furious with myself for my lack of will power & vow to stay away from these kryptonite foods.
New me eats what she wants when she wants too. I’ve found my body runs best on more carbs & now that I include A LOT more carbs & worked through the restrictions I had for myself around those foods they no longer hold any power over me.
Old me used to work out WAY TOO MUCH. I would allow myself only one day off a week even on vacation, no exceptions, and even then I made sure to at least take a 2 mile walk. A normal day included around 2 hours of cardio & weights & was followed by a 2 mile walk with my dog every afternoon. I would work out even if I was sick or hurt. I missed more mornings than I can count cuddled with my kids in the morning when they were little & would climb into bed to watch cartoons with my husband while I worked out.
New me does what feels good. I take lots of days off & try to keep my workouts to an hour or less. I no longer stick to a workout schedule, especially on vacation, & instead enjoy lazy mornings of sleeping in & spending time with my crew. I choose enough sleep over exercise & my body feels better & I no longer dread working out. I don’t use exercise to make up for eating anymore & don’t punish myself with extra exercise after weekends, dinners out, or vacation when I may eat more than I normally would but instead trust that my body knows how to balance it all out in the end.
On my weight…
Old me weighed herself everyday & kept a log to watch for trends. I’d feel frustrated if I was eating less if my weight didn’t go down & depressed when I ate more when my weight would go up.
New me ditched the scale & is so much happier. Habits like eating fruits & vegetables & getting a little exercise feel even better now that I no longer let a scale dictate how I feel about myself. My weight leveled out where the only clothes that no longer fit were the ones I could only wear when food rules & exercise goals made my life miserable. I’m more confident now than I ever was when I could wear a smaller size but let a scale tell me I was never small enough.
It wasn’t easy to get to where I am now. I didn’t just wake up one day an intuitive eater, but instead focused on the type of life I wanted to have & took a million baby steps to get there. All the work was so worth it in the end now that I’m living the life I want to live.